


keep me in the dark

by allmywill



Category: Arcadia (UK Band), Duran Duran
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Flirting, Jealousy, Kissing, Love Bites, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Riding, Secret Relationship, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Smut, Teasing, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-10-24 23:15:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20714162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmywill/pseuds/allmywill
Summary: Joining Simon and Nick in the Arcadia project seems like a great idea to Roger. Little does he know, he’s joining in on more than just a project.





	keep me in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> so this took me longer than expected. it wasn’t supposed to be this long but i couldn’t stop expanding on it! i hope you enjoy; i personally think this is some of my best duran stuff yet!
> 
> i tried to keep things as canon as possible, but with my own little twist ;)

When Nick calls to ask him to join Arcadia, Roger says yes, agreeing without a second thought. He sees it as something new and exciting, something with the familiarities of Duran, but with a completely alternate goal in mind. It’s just what he needs after the extensive recording and touring they’ve been doing the past couple years. It promises a fresh outlet for the three of them.

He always thought that Nick and Simon make an interesting team. They each bring something entirely different to the table, with Nick’s cool, causal demeanor, and Simon’s seemingly endless energy and wild personality. They clash sometimes, resulting in disagreements, though they always seem to compromise for each other at the end of the day. The way they treat each other sometimes raises the brows of the other members. And as the writing for the album starts, Roger begins to wonder about the true nature of their partnership a little more.

They’ve been meeting up almost every day to discuss what they’re going for, the sound, the aesthetic. Roger is amazed by Nick’s sudden ambition with the project. That, and his drastic style change as well. His once blonde locks have since been dyed black as a moonless night. His makeup has darkened significantly; his eyes smoky and dark. Roger finds him rather enticing, but maybe it’s just because he resembles an attractive young woman from certain angles.

Simon has changed his look, too. It’s strange to see him with hair so dark. Roger watches him lean closer to Nick to show him a page of ideas in his notebook. Nick leans into him, placing a small hand on his knee. Suddenly, Roger feels as though he’s intruded on something, like maybe he doesn’t belong here, in Simon’s new lush home in his living room. The two of them are in their own world.

Before Nick turns away from him to talk to Roger, who’s sitting across from them, taking it all in, he gives Simon a look that must mean _something_. His eyes sparkle in a way Roger has never seen before in all the years he’s known him. It’s a wanting kind of glance, a yearning poorly concealed, on his end.

“I like the idea with the numbers on the singles and the LP,” Nick says as he takes the notebook. He hands it over to Roger across the table. “Secret code,” he adds. There’s a tinge of something strange in his voice.

“Yeah, mysterious. I like it.” Roger half smiles, looking at all the drawings and writing before him. There seems to be lyrics, or poetry of some sort, scribbled in between the margins, though he can’t read most of it.

They talk about designs for the releases and their ideal sound for a little while longer until they decide to call it a day. Roger leaves Simon’s place as the sun is beginning to set, and in the taxi on the way home, something crosses his mind. It’s probably nothing, could be insignificant, even.

Nick had spent the entire day at Simon’s place and the two of them were alone when he left. The more he tries to justify it somehow in his head, the more it all starts to change forms. It’s beginning to add up...

Roger makes it back to his own place, mind in a swirl. As he relaxes in his own space, the night dragging on minute by minute, he tries to forget about Simon and Nick. What they’re doing or not doing is none of his business, anyway. Still, he can’t seem to shake that look in Nick’s eyes, coupled with the way he touched Simon. Friends don’t do that.

It crawls underneath his skin and maddens him all night long. He never thought it would bother him this much.

The next day, the three of them are in the studio. It feels just like working on a Duran album mostly, but Roger can’t seem to shake the feeling that Simon and Nick are up to something. Whatever it is, they’re trying to keep it a secret; an unspoken truth that Roger isn’t allowed in on.

From behind his drum kit, he watches Nick toy with his synthesizers, changing the settings and testing them. He looks deep in thought, his dark brows furrowed. Simon is sitting on a chair nearby, penning down fragments of lyrics in his notebook. Every now and then, he looks up at Nick. Roger pretends not to notice how his expression softens, how his eyes gleam with something that looks a _lot_ like adoration.

And something that feels a lot like jealousy blooms in the drummer’s gut. He’s not though, that wouldn’t make sense. He’s close to both of them; he cares about them very much. Surely he wouldn’t mind if he found out they were together. He’d be happy for them, even. Right? Well...

The more Roger dwells on it, the less sense it makes. His heart leaps when Simon looks his way, effectively pulling him out of his troubling thoughts.

“Let’s play through that song we did earlier, Rog,” Simon tells him. “I think I’ve got the start of something here.”

Roger complies, letting his passion run through him as he plays. It eases that strange feeling that’s been brewing within him. Nick then joins in with him, and soon enough, Simon too.

_When the evening's sunlight fingers_   
_Stretch across the floor_   
_Cover up your eyes with feathers  
Softly close the door_

Without missing a beat, Simon looks to Nick as he delivers his next lines.

_Take me in your heavy lips  
Take me where the shadows lie_

He stops there, filling in the rest of the instrumental with humming and nonsense lyrics. Nick didn’t seem to react to Simon’s suggestive glance, but he’s always been hard to read. Maybe he missed it. Maybe he’s just focused on the song.

Roger can feel his heart pounding in his chest, even though the vibration of his drumming is much harder. Adrenaline courses through his veins, wiring him, making him lose control. He never feels like this. This is something new entirely.

They’re near the end of the song when Roger feels one of his drumsticks snap in half. He stops playing and stares down at his hand for a moment. Somehow, he’s bleeding too. The broken stick must have caught his finger when it snapped.

“What’s wrong?” Nick asks from behind his synthesizers, sounding concerned.

“Just broke a stick and it caught my finger. Nothing serious.” Roger stands up and walks away from his drum kit, towards the door out to the hallway of the studio. “I’m gonna go clean this up, be right back.”

He breathes a sigh of relief when the door closes behind him. He’s hoping the two of them will stay in there and not come after him, yet at the same time, he wants them to. Nothing is making sense and his finger is starting to throb.

He makes it to the bathroom down the hall with blood running down his wrist. As he washes up in the sink, Roger looks at himself in the mirror, wondering what’s gotten into him. He’s broken drumsticks plenty of times before, but not under circumstances like these, not because his band mate looked at his other band mate.

Much to his chagrin, Nick walks in on his mini brooding session.

“Just making sure you’re okay,” he speaks softly, like Roger is a skittish wild animal. He comes up behind him and rests a hand on his shoulder.

Roger feels some of the tension in his body disappear from the contact. Nick has that effect on him; his presence like a calming elixir. “I’m fine,” he replies.

“Are you really though?” Nick’s looking into the mirror at Roger, wearing a slight frown. “You were looking pretty worked up back there.”

_Understatement of the year_, Roger thinks to himself. He shuts off the tap and inspects his hand. “Too much on my mind lately,” he says after a few beats of silence.

Nick finally removes his hand from Roger’s shoulder. He reaches over and grabs him a paper towel from the dispenser on the wall. Instead of simply handing it to him, he takes Roger’s injured hand. “I could say the same,” Nick starts, as he presses the towel to his wound. “But I’m more worried about you.”

Roger tries not to think too hard about the way Nick’s hand feels clutching his and how close he is to him. It happens anyway, and a guilty feeling creeps up on him. If Nick wants anyone _that_ way, it’s Simon, not himself. He says nothing. He can only stand there and relish in the sensation of his gentle touch, thinking about how wrong it probably is to enjoy it this much.

“You know you can talk to me.” Nick looks at him, eyes full of tenderness. He’s being hesitant, tip-toeing around Roger, as if he’s afraid he’ll upset him further.

But Roger’s not upset. He’s frustrated more than anything, and he’d never take it out on someone who means so much to him. He’d never think of hurting Nick, even though he’s starting to think he’s growing jealous of his and Simon’s relationship, whatever it may be. They’re just so _close_. It’s getting hard for him to conceal how he feels about it.

“I know.” Roger forces a smile. It’s almost painful to do so. “I trust you.”

A soft smile spreads across Nick’s pretty face. “Good. You better.”

There’s a few moments where the two of them make eye contact. Roger wonders what would happen if he leaned in right now. Nick’s lips are bare of any lipstick, but his eyes are made-up dark. Would Nick recoil if their lips met, or would he enjoy it? It would certainly answer a lot of questions, questions that have been swirling around in Roger’s head the past couple days.

Roger loses his chance to find out. Nick directs his attention back to his wound.

“I think it stopped,” he tells the keyboardist. His mind is still reeling from whatever just occurred between the two of them. “What would I do if you weren’t here to play mom?”

“You’d be bleeding all over your drums with a sour look on your face,” Nick remarks, eyes sparkling. He has since let go of Roger’s hand, though he doesn’t know that he wishes he hadn’t.

Before he turns to leave, Nick leans forward and presses his lips to Roger’s cheek. It’s over almost as soon as it starts; brief but wonderful all the same. He’s gone before Roger can open his mouth to speak.

Dumbfounded, he’s faced with only his reflection in the mirror. His eyes are wide and there’s a faint blush on his cheeks. He lifts a hand to touch where Nick’s lips just were, and he smiles to himself.

This just might be the start of something amazing or something completely terrible. It’s too early for Roger to tell.

Days go by in the blink of an eye as they all continue to work on the album. Nick doesn’t mention what happened at the studio and Roger can’t seem to get it off his mind. Maybe him and Simon aren’t actually together, maybe he’s only being himself: plain old affectionate Nick. No matter what he tries to tell himself, he can’t put himself at ease.

In a few hours time, the three of them are leaving for Paris. They’ll be spending a few months there together, dedicating their mini vacation from Duran to pull the album together. It should be exciting. Roger isn’t sure if he is or not.

Paris is a beautiful and inspiring place, full of wonders. He should be happy. He should feel lucky to have the chance to spend a while there making this little dream come true. But things feel... off. He feels so far away from everything and everyone; a lonely island out in the middle of the great big ocean, detached from the rest of the world.

Earlier in the week, Simon offered for him and Nick to stay over at his place for the night to make catching their flight easier the morning of. Roger didn’t miss the look on Nick’s face then. It was rather suggestive and it reminded him that there was something going on that he wasn’t in on. He excused himself for a few minutes after that, pacing around the outside of the studio alone. It was then he realized that this, whatever it is, isn’t going away anytime soon.

So far, the night has gone smoothly. They went out for a late dinner together and only got a little bit wine drunk. When they arrived back at Simon’s, it was already well into the evening, and the three of them retired to bed. Not the same bed, of course. At least that’s what Roger had been lead to believe.

The glowing clock on the nightstand reads _1:37 am_. Roger had been asleep for a couple hours before waking to strange sounds coming from outside the guest bedroom he’s currently occupying. Simon’s room is just across the hall. Nick is in the second guest bedroom next to him, or more accurately, is _supposed_ to be. Taking recent events into account, Roger is having doubts. _I bet Nick hasn’t been in there at all tonight,_ he thinks.

He’s been awake for a few minutes, wondering if he’s right or wrong. The house is rather old. It could’ve just been settling. As he stares into the darkness, he listens. He even holds his breath and remains perfectly still. That’s when he hears it again. It sounds like a bed creaking. Then he hears a moan; it’s unmistakable. It has to be coming from across the hall.

Simon’s room.

He doesn’t know if Nick is in there for sure, but now he’s even more suspicious. Roger sits up in bed and throws his legs over the side, sliding onto the floor and tiptoeing towards the door. He feels ridiculous for doing this, for giving so much thought to this, yet he can’t seem to stop thinking about it. It’s more than just curiosity at this point.

He presses his ear to the door. He hears hushed whispers, then another moan. It sounds a lot like Nick. Roger feels his heartbeat quicken and a hot feeling spreads through his body, coloring his face red. It’s hidden by the night; he himself is hidden, too. He assumes they have no idea he’s awake, listening to them from his room across the hall.

_“Oh, fuck, Nick—”_

A pause. More creaking.

_“You feel so good.”_

That’s Simon’s voice, no doubt about it. He’s always been the loudest one out of the five of them, so it only makes perfect sense that he’d be vocal in bed, too. That confirms his suspicions; Nick and Simon are together. Or maybe they’re just fooling around, and not a couple in that way. Whatever way they’re together, Roger can’t deny that he’s jealous, because he is.

But what surprises Roger the most is that he wants to be in that room too, watching it all unfold before his eyes. He wants to watch Nick fall apart, coming undone as Simon fucks him, his pretty mouth uttering obscenities. He wants to be in Simon’s place and be the one to make Nick feel good. He wants to be in Nick’s place as well, underneath the singer’s large frame. He wants to be with _both_ of them in any way he can.

Before he realizes what he’s doing, he’s got a hand down the front of his boxers. He’s already rock hard from the stimulation, and the mental images he’s conjuring up in his head are surely helping. Another echo of a moan graces his ears. He’s so lost in this feeling that he doesn’t care about anything else. It takes a few strokes and he’s releasing into his hand, trying not to make a single sound.

Roger hurriedly cleans himself up and slips back under the sheets. He doesn’t know how he’s going to face his bandmates in the morning, knowing what he knows now. He tries not to think about it as he closes his eyes.

It takes him what seems like hours to fall back asleep.

Roger wakes to Simon’s hand on his shoulder, shaking him. He opens his bleary eyes and nearly jumps out of his skin. His touch is gentle, yet with everything that went down just hours prior, he’s still kind of on edge.

He takes a second to drink in the sight of him. His darkened hair is sticking out in several different directions. The sleep shirt he’s wearing looks soft with age, the neck stretched enough to reveal what appears to be a love bite just above his left collarbone. He doesn’t seem to be aware that it’s quite obvious he slept with someone last night.

“Morning, Rog. Sorry if I startled you,” he says with a smile. He’s almost always in a good mood, somehow, even in the early morning. “There’s breakfast, come down whenever you’re ready.”

“Alright, thanks,” Roger replies, voice soft and low.

He watches as Simon leaves, fighting the sudden urge to tell him to come back to bed with him. What he wouldn’t give to put his hands on that man, to feel what Nick felt last night. The thought drives him wild. It’s too early for him to be thinking like this.

Rolling out of bed, he makes his way to the bathroom. Maybe a cool shower will calm him down. The chill of the water running down his body should help take his mind off everything, calming him down so he can deal with the rest of the day ahead.

While standing underneath the water, he closes his eyes. He never thought he’d end up so infatuated with two men, especially two of his closest friends and bandmates. He thought he liked women, though it seems that things are a bit more complicated than that now. Everything he knew, or thought he knew about himself, has become untrue somehow.

Roger takes his time getting dressed, prolonging the inevitable. He has to face them eventually. He paces around his room for a few minutes, trying to gather the strength to go downstairs and see them.

He swallows his irrational fear and makes his way down. It’s still early, early enough that Nick might not be awake yet. When he walks into the kitchen, he’s surprised. He’s met with Nick sitting at the table, reading a magazine and sipping a cup of black coffee. His hair is just as untamed as Simon’s and his face is completely bare of cosmetics.

The two of them are a picture of domesticity. Simon is across from him, an empty bowl pushed off to the side in favor of the notebook before him. He’s already got a pen in his hand and the sun has barely come up. He must have been inspired by something. Or someone. Roger isn’t daft.

Nick looks up, his expression softening when he sees him. “Hey, Rog,” he greets, warm and sweet. It’s unlike him; he’s never been particularly pleasant in the early morning.

“Morning, Nick.” Roger’s heart skips a beat. He’s so fucked. “You’re in a good mood,” he adds.

Nick rolls his eyes. “Don’t get used to it, I’m just excited about this record.” He turns the page of his magazine. “Which, at this rate, will be thirty tracks long.” He looks to Simon, who’s scratching something out on the page.

“Not all of these are going to make the cut.” Simon waves a dismissive hand in his direction. “Some are horrid and they’re never seeing the light of day.”

“I seriously doubt that, babe.”

Roger is glad his back is turned to them now. Could they be any more obvious? He finishes pouring his cereal and walks over to the table, opting to sit next to Nick. He finds himself wishing John and Andy were here to make this less excruciatingly awkward for him. He feels as though he’s sandwiched between a clingy couple, yet he’s a lonely outsider at the same time.

Nick finishes his coffee and closes his magazine. “I should start getting ready,” he announces, getting up from his chair.

“We have over an hour before we have to leave.” Simon looks up from his work. Roger doesn’t miss the little flash of disappointment on his face. 

“You know me.” Nick smiles. He comes around the table and starts gathering their dishes. He lets a hand brush Simon’s arm in such a way that it must be intentional.

Simon looks at him like he puts all the stars in the sky every night. “That I do.”

Roger’s skin is crawling. He pretends he’s more focused on eating than listening to their flirtatious banter. He’s almost relived when Nick leaves the room and heads up the stairs.

“He’s just like a bird,” Simon remarks to him when Nick is out of earshot. There is no venom in his voice, only a hint of that damn adoration.

“He does take his appearance very seriously,” Roger replies.

Simon’s soft laugh graces his ears. “He takes most things very seriously.”

Now would be an opportune time to ask him about last night, if he had the guts to do such a thing. Maybe if he knew for sure if they were a couple or not, he’d gain some peace of mind. Maybe it would help him get over these strange new feelings he’s been harboring before they become an even bigger problem. Or maybe he’s already in too deep to think of turning back now.

Perhaps agreeing to this project wasn’t the best idea on Roger’s part.

Simon has since gotten dressed, so the love bite he had spotted earlier is no longer in plain view. Roger lets himself picture Nick’s lips on that very spot, kissing and sucking, drawing those moans out of the singer. Then he imagines himself doing the same while Nick watches.

He stands up from the table. He needs to get away from him before he says or does something he’ll later regret.

They’ve already boarded the plane when Roger realizes they’ll be living in each other’s pockets for the next few months. There’s a rented house waiting for them somewhere in Paris, fairly close to the studio they’ll be recording and mixing at. If last night is anything to judge by, he’ll be listening to the two of them go down on each other every night, while he’s locked inside his room trying to stay sane and failing miserably.

He’s not sure if this is the best thing that’s ever happened to him or if it’s the absolute _worst_.

Nothing monumental happens on their flight, to which Roger is relieved. He’s not sure if he could take the constant flirting and teasing between Nick and Simon in the public eye. He might cause a scene. That would be one hell of a headline for the fans to eat up.

It’s when they arrive at their rental that things get a bit hard to handle.

Roger walks in and sets his bags down by the door. With Nick and Simon behind him, he starts looking around. It’s rather nice, spacious and clean. But there’s one minor problem.

There’s only two bedrooms and two beds between the three of them.

“_Shit,_” Roger hears Simon say under his breath. “Nick, we totally forgot.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Roger turns around to face them. “I’ll take the sofa—”

Simon starts shaking his head. “No, this is our fault. We should’ve let management know you were joining. We had all this planned and booked before we called you.” He glances down at Nick. “_I’ll_ take the sofa.”

Nick runs a hand through his hair and returns Simon’s look. “Charlie, look.” He walks into one of the bedrooms, gesturing towards the bed in the middle of the room. “It’s plenty big enough for two of us to fit.”

_They argue like a married couple,_ Roger thinks. He can’t help but grin; he knows exactly what direction this is going. He decides to derail them as a bit of an experiment. “I really don’t mind, I quite like the sofa,” he interjects.

“You can have the other room to yourself, Rog,” Nick tells him. He turns back to Simon, who looks somewhat pleased. “Charlie here is just thickheaded. I’m small anyway, and I’ll stay on my side. I promise.”

_Yeah, sure you will._ “Alright,” Roger replies simply. “I guess I’ll go settle in then.”

“We will too,” Simon replies. He’s smiling a lot for someone who has to share a bed with their bandmate for a couple months.

Before Roger turns to leave, he catches Nick winking at Simon out of the corner of his eye. Something tells him they planned that whole thing. It can’t just be mere coincidence.

He hauls his stuff to his room and soon discovers that the walls are paper thin. He can hear Nick and Simon’s entire conversation even with the door closed.

_“Since when did we get married, Nick?”_

Roger’s thoughts exactly. He has to try not to laugh out loud; this is getting weirder and weirder. He feels some of that pesky jealousy lift, and instead, it is replaced with a different feeling. Excitement? Maybe. He can’t tell yet.

As he unpacks his clothes, he thinks about all the nights to come. Nick and Simon will surely put on a show for him; they’re both terrible at keeping quiet. Losing sleep is the least of his concern. He’s so attracted to the two of them that he can’t find it within himself to care.

“This song is driving me up the fucking wall.” Simon is sitting in a big comfortable chair in the studio. He’s tapping his pen against the table in front of him and shaking a leg. He’s the poster child of frustration.

“Which one?” Roger asks from his spot next to Simon.

Simon hands over the notebook. It’s well worn from being handled so much over the past couple weeks. Roger reads over the lyrics he already has penned down.

_When the evening's sunlight fingers_   
_Stretch across the floor_   
_ Cover up your eyes with feathers_   
_ Softly close the door_   
_ Take me in your heavy lips_   
_ Take me where the shadows lie_   
_ I need your blind full secrets_   
_ Hunting fast and loose_   
_ The lacy intrigue of this weekend_   
_ Should not be abused_

He recognizes the song right away. “Okay,” he starts, “so what’s this about?” 

Simon laughs. “I’ve got no idea.”

“You wrote it!”

Simon reaches out to take the notebook back. “To be honest, I don’t know what a lot of my songs are about. They practically write themselves.”

Roger rolls his eyes playfully. “You are such an inspiration.”

“You’re starting to get sarcastic. Somebody’s spending too much time around Nick,” Simon teases. He punches Roger’s arm and the touch sends a shock throughout his entire body.

“Says _you,_” Roger deadpans, then smirks. Messing with Simon is always fun.

Simon’s face goes bright red and he laughs uncomfortably. Seeing him embarrassed is rare; Roger knows he hit deep with that jab. He says nothing in reply to that, and instead, seems eager to redirect their conversation. “So, back to the song...”

As if on queue, Nick enters the room, carrying bags of takeout for lunch. Roger and Simon have fallen quiet, and it raises their keyboardist’s suspicion. He sets the bags down in front of them, giving the two of them a look. “What happened here?”

Roger looks to Simon, then back at Nick. “Nothing. We were just talking about this one song. He’s having trouble finishing the lyrics.”

“Oh yeah? Which one?”

_“When the evening’s sunlight fingers stretch across the floor_,” Simon sings the opening line of the song.

Nick hums in thought. “I really liked that one. Got anything, Roger?”

He shrugs. “I would if I knew what the song’s supposed to be about, but somebody’s keeping me in the dark.” He looks to Simon.

The two of them exchange a glance. “Wait,” Simon says, pointing his pen in Roger’s direction. “Keep me in the dark!”

Nick chuckles as he watches him scribble the phrase down on the page. “That was fast.”

He jumps up from his seat. “I’ll be right back.” He then dashes towards the door and he’s gone within seconds.

Nick stares in the direction he disappeared to. “Lunch can wait, I suppose,” he says. He comes around the table and takes Simon’s seat. “I was hoping he’d finish that song.”

“Yeah, it’s a good one.”

A few beats of silence drift by before Nick drops a bomb. “I know what it’s about.”

Roger sits forward, his curiosity peaked with his words. “What?”

Nick looks like he’s considering something. He crosses his arms. “An affair he’s been having.”

_Here it comes._ Roger braces himself before he speaks. “Who with?”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself? I’m sure he’ll tell you.” With that, Nick goes to get up, but he finds that Roger has grabbed his arm.

“Woah, hold on.” Roger needs to know what’s going on; he’s losing his mind over this. He needs to know _now_ before it eats him alive. “What the hell is going on, Nick? Seriously.”

He has never seen Nick look at him like this before. He wants to just come right out and ask him the burning question, but something stops him, keeping the words at the back of his throat.

Nick’s expression starts to soften, and for a moment, Roger thinks he’s going to confess. “It’s... complicated. Not something I want to get into right now.” He half-smiles and Roger lets go of him.

“Okay. Whenever you want to talk, I’m here,” Roger tells him, sincere.

Nick rounds the back of his chair and stops. He leans in and throws his arms around him, enveloping him in a one-sided embrace. “You’re a good guy, Rog,” he says into his shoulder before he pulls away. “I’m going to fetch our singer.”

He leaves the room and Roger lets out a heavy sigh. Maybe he should work on forgetting that he’s insanely attracted to his bandmates.

“Roger? You awake?”

“Hmm?”

Opening his eyes, he’s met with Simon’s silhouette. He has no idea what time it is, but judging by the lack of light, it’s the middle of the night. He sits up in bed, reaching over to turn the lamp on.

Simon smiles at him. Roger is glad to see him, as always, though he’s kind of exhausted.

“What do you need?” Roger asks, his voice a bit deeper than normal.

“Couldn’t sleep. Doesn’t help that Nick keeps taking all the covers.” Simon gestures to the bed. “Would you mind if I stayed with you instead?”

He moves over for him without a second thought. “Not at all.”

Simon slides in next to him and Roger is immediately aware that neither of them are wearing pants. This bed isn’t as big as the one Nick is currently occupying on his own, so the two of them are close enough to touch. He feels Simon reach over to turn the light back off again.

They settle down, getting comfortable so they can drift off to sleep for the rest of the night. Roger is facing the wall, though Simon is practically breathing down his neck. He’s hyper-aware of every breath he takes, afraid of making the slightest movement, afraid of ruining this moment, that may as well have been pulled right from his dreams.

He knows that Simon is still awake. He can hear his breathing; everything is so much more intense since the room is silent. It’s driving him crazy. He’ll never get back to sleep now.

Suddenly, without as much as a warning, Roger feels Simon’s hands pull him closer, so they are back to chest. _Spooning._

“Too much?” Simon whispers.

Roger relaxes against him, melting in his warmth. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this close to him before in all the years he’s known him, and especially not in a situation this intimate.

“No,” Roger replies. “This is good,” he adds. He places his hands on top of Simon’s.

“Okay,” Simon breathes out; it sounds a lot like a sigh of relief. His lips are awfully close to Roger’s neck and he can’t take his mind off that fact.

Sleep is the last thing on Roger’s mind. Simon dozes off in minutes, but all he can think of how it feels to have their bodies so close like this, all tangled up in each other. He wants to remember this sensation, in case this is a one time thing and he never gets to feel it again.

He starts to wonder what Nick meant earlier in the day. Why couldn’t he confess that he and Simon were together in some way or another? And what about it was ‘complicated’? Roger has to find out, because these games are starting to get to him.

He wants them, and bad. Though he can’t have either of them if they only really have eyes for each other.

Roger manages to untangle himself from Simon without waking him just before the sun rises. He’s lucky the man sleeps like the dead, or else he’d have even more trouble leaving. He gets dressed, unnoticed. Nick must be in a deep sleep as well.

He leaves behind a note on the nightstand for Simon to find. _Going for a walk, bringing back breakfast,_ it reads. He writes his name at the bottom of the paper and contemplates adding a heart too, though he decides against it. That might be too much.

He silently slips out the front door and starts his private journey. There has to be a café somewhere on this street. He finds one after a couple blocks, the glass windows reflecting the color of the sunrise. It looks promising, so he goes inside and orders what he knows Simon and Nick will like.

Over a nice breakfast, he plans to have the talk he’s been meaning to have with them for weeks. He wants to clear the air, to make a step towards dealing with his own feelings. If he has to, Roger is prepared to swallow them. He’ll bury them and forget about them if he has to.

The walk, though short, helps to clear his head and calm his nerves. When he arrives back at the house, he feels lighter. He enters and makes his way to the kitchen. No sign of Simon or Nick. He wonders if they’re still sleeping.

He sets the food down on the table and starts up the stairs. He opens the door to his room, but Simon isn’t there anymore. Roger knows exactly where to look next.

Opening the other bedroom door reveals Simon and Nick in bed together. Nick is on top of him and he appears to be straddling Simon’s hips underneath the sheets. They are attached at the mouth, lazily making out until they discover Roger’s presence. They both stop and look at him, startled by the sudden disturbance.

Nick climbs off of Simon. “Roger, I-”

“I already knew,” he interrupts. “I figured it had to be you two.”

“You did?” comes Simon’s voice. He sits up more in bed, the gray sheets sliding down to reveal his bare chest.

Roger nods. “You guys haven’t exactly been subtle.”

“Guess not.” Simon looks at Nick like he’s his whole world, further proving Roger’s point.

“So you’re a couple?” he asks, his hand back on the doorknob like he already knows the answer to that question.

“No,” Nick forces out. “Roger, wait.”

Roger turns back around. He’s had it with these games, he just wants to go. “Just shagging, then?”

Nick shakes his head. “There’s something I... _we_ need to tell you. Come here.”

A little reluctant, Roger complies, walking towards the bed. The closer he gets, the more he yearns for them. This is torture.

Simon locks eyes with him. He takes one of Nick’s hands and squeezes it. “We’re not exclusive because we both want you.”

The sentence drops like a bomb. Roger surely is feeling the shock of it. He doesn’t know if his lungs are still functioning; he is rendered speechless.

“I thought it was obvious, but I guess I was wrong,” Nick says, resting his head on Simon’s bare shoulder.

“You... want me?” The words tumble out of Roger’s mouth. He doesn’t know what else to say because he didn’t once think this would happen to him.

“To be included in all of this, yes.” Nick smiles softly. “Only if you want to, of course.”

Roger can’t believe this is real, that he’s lucky enough for this to be happening to him. He dreamed of this, not knowing that the entire time, he could have had it in reality. “I want to,” he says.

“Come on, then.” Simon lifts the covers as an invitation for him to join them. “Let’s get you out of those clothes first.”

Simon turns and sits up, grabbing Roger by the hips and pulling him closer. He helps rid him of his jeans and his shirt, his fingers brushing his skin as he does so. When he’s reduced to just his underwear, Roger leans down and crashes their lips together for the first time.

A wild mix of emotions rages within him. It’s like an explosion, an earth shattering mess of feelings that rains down on him. Simon kisses him hungrily, setting the mood for their next interactions. He pulls him down and they collapse back into the bed. As their lips move in synch, Simon slots him between himself and Nick.

They part and Simon immediately begins leaving a trail of kisses from Roger’s jawline to his chest. “I’ve been waiting so long to do this,” he confesses.

“Me too,” Roger’s voice comes out breathy. He feels Nick’s soft hands on his skin, running up his arm. He turns his head and is met with his face.

Nick’s lips are upturned, his eyes shining. He is the one to initiate their first kiss, leaning forward and connecting their lips. He brings a hand up to his cheek to deepen it, smiling more when Roger’s mouth opens to allow his tongue to explore.

Roger cards his hands through his hair. It’s silky and soft, just as he suspected it would be. When they disconnect, he sighs dreamily. “I always thought you were so pretty.”

Nick swipes a thumb across his wet lips. “You are, too.”

He feels Simon’s body press into his side, his warmth very much the same as it was the night before. Except this time, the contact is skin on skin, and this is far less innocent. “Have you ever done anything with a bloke before?” Simon asks him.

“No,” Roger replies. He can feel his heartbeat in his throat.

“We can take the lead, then, if you prefer.” Nick runs a hand down his chest, slow and sensual.

Roger looks at Simon, then Nick, and his mouth goes dry. “Please,” he utters.

Simon gets up, padding off to the bathroom to retrieve what they’ll need. Meanwhile, Nick hooks a leg around Roger’s hips, then pulls himself up so he’s straddling him. Instinctively, Roger’s hands fly to his thighs to steady him.

“We’re gonna make you feel so good.” Nick’s tone is dulcet, helping to calm the other man beneath him. He grinds down experimentally, earning a soft moan out of him. He captures his mouth just in time before the sound escapes.

Roger is so lost in the feeling of Nick that he doesn’t even notice the bed dip when Simon returns. Nick’s mouth seems to send him to another world entirely. It’s no wonder Simon can’t keep quiet when they’re together; he’s a perfect lover.

Nick pulls away from their kiss and hooks his fingers around the band of Roger’s boxers, tugging them down his legs without much haste. He doesn’t want to rush any of this, he wants Roger to enjoy himself. He wants him to come back for more after it’s all said and done. He then works to free himself of his own, Simon doing the same as he watches them.

Simon moves closer, so he and Roger are flush together again. Nick slides off of him and gives him the reigns for now. “Gonna suck you off,” he whispers in his ear, his breath hot.

He sinks down, pushing some of the covers aside. As he takes Roger’s cock into his mouth, he revels in the sounds it draws out of him. He feels a hand in his hair, pulling the dark strands. The pressure feels nice; he groans in response.

“_Shit._” Roger feels that familiar sensation in his abdomen, inching toward his orgasm, but he doesn’t want this to be over just yet. He didn’t realize Simon’s mouth around him would feel like absolute heaven. “Stop, gonna come if you keep that up.”

Simon complies, moving back up to eye level again.

“Where... did you learn _that?_” Roger asks, his chest rapidly rising and falling. He’s so turned on he could cry.

“That’s a conversation for later, love.” Simon wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes meet Nick’s and he winks.

Nick grins. “Long story short, he learned from me. Hand me that stuff, Charlie.”

He passes over a condom and a tube of lube that’s already half empty. Nick tears open the foil packet with his teeth and rolls it down Roger’s length, his hands every bit careful and experienced. He flips up the cap on the tube and dispenses a generous amount into his hand.

“Simon loves when I ride him,” Nick says as he coats Roger’s cock.

“Oh, believe me,” Roger starts, “I know. You’re loud.”

Simon giggles. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be, I like it.”

Nick begins to sink down until he’s fully seated and Roger sighs as he moves and shifts. He’s so tight around him and it’s already driving him mad. He reaches for his hips, clutching his soft pale skin as if his life depends on it. He could get used to this.

“Fuck, Nick,” Roger exhales. “Just... _fuck._”

Nick sets up a rhythmic pace, shaking the bed ever so slightly. Simon is still right next to him, now stroking himself, little pants coming out of his mouth right near Roger’s ear. Nick’s hands drift down to meet his where they’re gripping him.

“I knew, _ah—_ you’d enjoy this.” Nick is just as blissed out as he is.

Simon leans over and attaches his lips to Roger’s neck. He takes the skin into his mouth and starts sucking hard enough to leave a mark, which has Roger dangling over the edge.

“Close,” Roger wills himself to whisper. He comes moments after, a shudder ripping through him as he releases inside of Nick.

Nick follows after, then Simon too. They’re all a sweaty, sticky mess, but none of them make the effort to move right away. The only sound in the room for a few long seconds is their breathing.

“It’s even better with you, Rog,” Nick says as he climbs off of him, removing the condom. He leaves and makes his way to the bathroom, bringing back a towel to clean them all up.

Simon smiles when he sees him returning to the bed. He reaches out and grabs Nick instead of the towel in his hand, pulling him back into the bed. He chuckles softly and makes himself cozy between him and Roger as he works to clean them up.

“It really is,” Simon agrees. His expression is relaxed; the afterglow looks good on him. He leans forward and gives Nick a chaste peck on the lips.

Nick throws the towel to the floor, landing somewhere near their clothes, which are mostly scattered around the room. He sighs happily, turning his body to snuggle into Roger’s chest.

Roger smiles. He feels lucky to be part of this, whatever it is. “I’d like to join you guys more often, if that’s okay with you.”

“It’s more than okay.” Simon reaches over Nick to ruffle Roger’s already messy hair. “We’d love that.”

Roger feels the weight of his exhaustion pulling him down. Combined with the warmth of his two lovers, it’s getting hard to keep his eyes open. He forgets all about the breakfast waiting downstairs and he starts to drift, bliss written all over his face.

Maybe joining in on Simon and Nick’s project wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr @ bemyicon :) thanks for reading!


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